We’ve all been there, the societal pressure to get married. But I do sometimes feel mine is worse because I’m African and still single at 34. August 25th was one of my hardest days in my single journey. I guess hormones played a factor, but I wanted to share that even at our lowest, God knows, and He has a word for us. He has great compassion, and He’s there to help us in our time of need.
August 25th, 2026
I just put another date to get married July 2027. I’ll be 35 years old then. I feel I’ll be too old to get married based on my experience with society. And to me it feels like what will I even be celebrating getting married at that age?
I should have a quiet wedding and keep it hidden (lots of tears and crying as I write this).
I really do feel like I let myself down and let my family down.
I feel like a failure in the area of relationships even though I believe God has called me to trust Him about them.
Not a good place to be and I especially feel like today is not a good day.
After a while everything just piles up and I break down. Even though I try to avoid the marriage talk, I can’t escape it and it haunts me down everywhere I go.
- My mum prays about it loudly every day and I have to hear it.
- People ask me about it everywhere/everyone I talk to.
- My sister keeps sending me posts about it.
- Everytime I open Facebook or Instagram it is just there.
Anyways today is not a good day.
The Next Day
So after my meltdown yesterday, I felt God talking to me today. I feel like every time I go through this situation where I just feel bad and depressed about my relationship, like my marriage, my age to marry, and I cry out to God in sincerity, God speaks to me. He doesn’t let me wallow in self-pity or let me feel depressed for a long time.
So anyways, this morning, I’m doing the chronological Bible for a year, and I’m somewhere around day 240-something, getting close to the end. But for some reason, instead of taking me to today’s reading, it took me back to day one, which was Genesis 1-2-3, and showed me I hadn’t actually read it. I couldn’t understand why, how come I hadn’t read it, but anyway, since it showed me I hadn’t, I went back right away.
I know the verses God was bringing me to from Genesis 1. Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” So I know I’ve been created with the one God has for me, that’s the encouragement from that.
The next chapter talks about how God saw that Adam was alone. Genesis 2:18: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Then it talks about how God brought the animals to Adam and Adam named them. Genesis 2:19-20: “And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them… And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.” I remember a preacher saying that among all the animals, there was no suitable helper found for Adam, Adam didn’t choose a wife from the animals, even though God presented them all to him.
God saw that he needed a helper, so God caused Adam to sleep, and while he was sleeping, that’s when God brought Eve. Genesis 2:21-22: “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” From that, it tells me God wants me to rest first, and then He brings.
The next part talks about how Adam was the one who made the proclamation. Genesis 2:23: “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” And at the same time, Genesis 2:24: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” That’s confirmation for me, my husband will recognize me, and he’ll be the one, and we’ll move forward together.
So I’m just really thankful to God, because yesterday was really hard for me. I did have a meltdown and cried. I was having a headache yesterday, and I cried so much it felt like my headache doubled, even tripled. Yesterday wasn’t really good, but today is better.
I really think He sent that to me because whenever I feel discouraged, He sends me a word, and that word just tells me God knows what He’s doing. Genesis 1:28 says, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” So I don’t even need to stress about the fact that I’m going to be 35, which is when people talk about “geriatric pregnancy.” I don’t need to worry about that, because God has already told me to be fruitful and multiply. Everything is in God’s hands, so I don’t need to worry.
Yeah, so I just wanted to share that, it was tough, but today’s better because I got a word. God always sends me a word for my situation. Even though I get emotional thinking about it, and even though I don’t see any prospects around me right now, I know that God has a plan, and I put my feet in His word, because His word is true. His word is more real than whatever I’m going through right now, so I don’t need to go by what my physical eyes see. Like Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” So my faith is the evidence, and His word is the evidence. That’s what I held onto today.